What is “Beyond Therapy” And How Does It Work?
During my training in Contemplative Psychology, I came to understand that a counselor and therapist’s role is to be in service to the development of the soul (psyche) of each individual he or she works with. We are to help guide each person on to the path of self awareness and responsibility. This approach emphasizes that the being in front of us is not a diagnosis but an ever-changing human, rolling through the unending shifts of life on Earth.
The interaction of one human with another is always different, so each therapist will get a different read on the person. And depending on the day and the mood of the client and the counselor there will be a different feeling, understanding and path that unfolds.
In my 20 years as a counselor and therapist in Flagstaff and throughout northern Arizona, I often felt that the confines of the psychological world were limiting to deeper work. I understood the impulse and sometimes even the comfort of having a diagnosis but often times it became a crutch and a way to “pass the buck”. “I am... bipolar/depressed/have ADHD” etc. One then has and is that thing and less work and exploration need be done because there is no getting over the diagnosis. Diagnosis hints at an aspect of the client, but the work is in the unfolding of the moment and the relationship.
When one brings curiosity to whatever is arising and learns to feel into and explore what is happening then the potential is limitless. One sees that depression is not a consistent thing - there are fluctuations in the intensity of feeling, shifting from heavier to lighter and back again, sensations transitioning into other sensations continuously. What we believe to be a consistent state - depression, anxiety, stress, and loneliness - is actually an ever-changing reality. When we learn to pay attention to the fluctuations we find much more space and relief.
This is why I have moved beyond treating diagnoses. If someone is attached to their diagnosis then I am not the person to come to. If someone is willing to approach their inner experience from a place of curiosity and responsibility then I am very happy to be their guide.
This is the crux of my shift from therapy and counseling to guidance. Therapy and counseling live in the realm of psychology and diagnosis. Guidance is an open space which encourages a completely different approach. The guidance is rooted in mindfulness - which in this present moment is a tremendously overused and often misused idea.
Mindfulness from this perspective is two-fold. The first part is learning to regain control of the mind. We are constantly flying off into stories and escape routes to avoid the feeling of the moment. We let our mind wildly zip and zoom wherever it desires. This causes greater pain and confusion. The mind is the vehicle, it is the car, and we have put it on cruise-control and let it go where it wants. We need to take back the driver’s seat and guide it where we want.
The second part is learning how to hang out with the feeling of the moment. There is a constant, never-ending stream of feeling, every moment is saturated in feeling. Our normal, societally trained approach is to run away - let the mind take us from the moment. But as we regain control of the mind we are led to the moment, and learning to stay with and be curious about the moment’s feeling is a power and liberation like none other.
This is the core of my work. Curiosity, self-awareness and mindfulness leading to regaining control of the mind and learning to be with the ever-changing flow of feeling. There is no fixing, no healing, because there is nothing wrong. It is not a change of the situation but a change of approach to the situation. And in changing approach that naturally changes the reality.