Aaron Cohen’s Beyond Therapy approach.
With over 20 years in the field of counseling and therapy in Flagstaff, northern Arizona, and the greater Southwest, Aaron Cohen has incorporated his mindfulness meditation expertise to develop a unique approach for his clients. Aaron's sessions are designed to guide individuals, couples, and families towards a greater control of the mind, leading to more freedom and joy in all aspects of life.
Heaven and hell are nowhere but here. It is only through our minds that we bring about one or the other. There are difficult things to deal with on the planet but ultimately how we work with our minds during any circumstance presented us is the determining factor of the quality of our life.
We are brought up to try to avoid and reject the “negative” feelings and emotions. Sadness, anger, fear, confusion, loss and others are feelings that make us uncomfortable and in our society we spend a lot of time and money figuring out ways to avoid these feelings. We watch a lot of whatever we can on the internet, we buy things we don’t need, we drink alcohol, take drugs, have indiscriminate sex – all to avoid. This leads to spiraling into addiction, which most of us suffer from in one form or another.
Avoidance is naturally intertwined with seeking. All the addictive/seeking behaviors used to avoid the"bad" feelings lead us to the illusion of "good" feelings. Feelings of calm, peace, quiet, excitement, lust, connection and many more brought on by addiction merely cover the real feeling with fantasy. The synthetic feelings brought about through addiction cover the true feelings and ultimately compound the problem.
The issue is that both the avoidance and the seeking are negations of what is.
In our society we are taught that the intellect is the most important thing and we learn to live from the neck up. Disconnected from our hearts, from the feeling center, we learn to intellectualize and compartmentalize, separating ourselves from the constant flow of feelings coursing through us at all times. This disconnect from self leads to a disconnect from all things, desensitizing us so that violence, war and the destruction of the planet are natural bi-products.
As we continue to disconnect from our feeling we need ever greater techniques to bury the sadness, rage, pain and confusion. Eventually however the build up is too great and it begins to be expressed – in an outburst of rage, through depression, anxiety, heart disease, cancer. Somehow the feelings will express themselves, but when held onto and avoided for so long they are never expressed well. This poor expression usually leads to an exacerbation of the issue as opposed to a release.
Feelings are energy needing free movement and expression. If we avoid we end up stifling the flow and holding on to the very thing we wanted to be rid of. If we allow them the space to move through and out of us, they naturally go.
This is where the work is. We must learn to face the feelings as they are in the moment.
The story we tell ourselves is the crux of the problem. When a feeling arises our trained reaction is to get lost in some story about why the feeling is here and what it means. “I am sad because…” The story externalizes the feeling – it is “out there”, it is “because…” of someone/something. The externalizing leads to embellishment, which makes it harder to deal with, which leads to a greater need to avoid.
When we drop the "...because" and merely state “I am sadness” there is no embellishment, no story, no externalization, there is merely the feeling, which is passing through me for a moment. It is simple. Every feeling we have ever had has come and gone – and goes all the faster when allowed to just be, without the narrative.
This work guides you back to your body, to the feeling whether it be tension, tightness, clenching, tickling, vibrating or any sensations that you are experiencing in the moment. These ARE your feelings. There is no need to fear, avoid or embellish through story. You will be guided to simply be with what is, and it's a beautiful, blissful thing.