Years ago, when I was just 14, my aunt said that one day I would be an excellent therapist. I was still quite young and asked her to explain what a therapist did and why she thought I would be good at it. She explained that there are many names therapists go by, be it counselor, psychologist, life coach, spiritual guide but that the key to being a therapist or counselor is the ability to listen. To truly listen.
I was curious and asked her to explain more. She said that in life people are so wrapped up in running around that they barely have time to connect with other human beings. Even with their chosen partner people are often lost in their individual swirl that they find so compelling and don’t slow down to see each other. This speed and disconnect takes its toll on people and when they finally become aware of the harm it’s causing them, if they are brave, they will seek out counseling in one form or another.
She went on, saying that people’s need to run around often comes from the unconscious impulse to run away from feelings they have that they don’t know how to deal with. Someone with the ability to patiently and quietly sit with another human and allow them the opportunity to touch these feelings is a rarity. And she said I have that ability.
I felt the pride one feels when complemented by an elder and asked what it took to be a therapist, counselor or spiritual guide. She said that each one had different educational tracks, which I’d have to explore and see which fit for me but that ultimately what it took was the underlying skill she said I already had plus a desire to be of service to others.
As we talked we discussed the possibility of being a children's counselor, possibly working in schools (which I eventually did), or doing couples counseling. At the time I had no idea what couples counseling would entail though now I have come to appreciate the depth of work possible when two people are willing to look at themselves individually in the context of their relationship.
We also discussed family counseling, which again was an anomaly to me but I had some understanding of it when we discussed the structure of my family and how we each feed off each other, creating healthy and unhealthy patterns. And then what sounded most interesting was individual therapy/coaching. This seemed the most interesting because I enjoyed hearing people’s stories and understanding life through their perspective. It gave me insight into myself and is always fascinating to hear how different people live and learn.
It all sounded interesting but beyond my reach at the time. But slowly after working with my own therapists and spiritual guides I came to understand and be more ready to do this for others. Having gone through my own counseling and guidance I was ready to take a step closer as I understood that to really be able to be there for others I had to learn first to be there for myself.
However, even with the therapy and counseling I received I was still aware of a need for more. A different and deeper way to access my psyche. That’s when I was led to meditation. I had heard about meditation but I still wondered, what is meditation? At first it was a mystery, but through reading and discussion with others I became aware that meditation leads to mindfulness and mindful living. Which of course begs the question, what is mindfulness and mindful living?
Mindfulness and mindful living in short are the practice of taking back control of your mind. For too long we have let the mind run the show, but that in essence is like letting the car drive. The mind is merely the vehicle, but we have handed over the keys and the steering wheel and let it go where it will. And we’ve all seen cars without drivers. They veer and crash - as does the mind when untended and untamed. The mind goes this way and that jumping from one thing to the next in a never-ending, exhausting swirl. Mindfulness and mindful living is about regaining the driver’s seat and guiding your mind instead of being guided by it. With this new found power one can learn to work with any of the varieties of issues that pop up in the modern psyche.
This is just the tip of the iceberg of what the benefits of meditation are. There are many types of meditation - Mindfulness meditation, Meditation for anxiety, Mindful schools - so many forms but all ultimately with the same aim - taking back control of the car - of your mind.
So with all the therapy I experienced with all the therapists, all the counseling I received from all the counselors, all the coaching I had with all the coaches, all the guidance I got from the spiritual guides, and the mindfulness I learned to practice through my study of meditation, I was finally ready to start my practice.
By this point in life I had travelled from my home in Winnipeg, Canada, to Israel, to Boulder CO, finally settling in Flagstaff. At first I was a therapist in Flagstaff, working at places like the Guidance Center, then I was a counselor in Flagstaff, working in schools both in town and on the Navajo and Hopi reservations and now I have transitioned into a spiritual guide in Flagstaff. All the while practicing and guiding others in the art of mindfulness and mindful living